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By Alan Thatcher
Contributing Editor
MONEY NO OBJECT AS GOLF TEES UP OLYMPIC BID
Let's start this week with two questions.
First of all, is golf the most boring sport ever invented? And, second, can you name the reigning Olympic tennis champion?
The reason I am mentioning these two sports is that, with world tour's valued in billions of dollars, they dwarf the game of squash.
Tennis is already an Olympic sport. And now golf is aiming to join the IOC roster.
When tennis made its Olympic reappearance, in 1988, hardly any of the game's top stars bothered to enter, making it a totally meaningless sideshow.
It's been that way ever since, so I imagine some shuttle diplomacy has resulted in Roger Federer and Anna Ivanovic topping the seeding lists in Beijing, and brothers Andy and Jamie Murray representing Great Britain.
Tennis has its Grand Slam series of events, the Australian Open, US Open, French Open and Wimbledon, and the prospect of turning out for your country once every four years, for expenses only and dossing in an athletes' village instead of a five-star hotel, is clearly not much of an attraction for most of the top stars.
The Olympic tennis event is not a match for the Grand Slams, in terms of prize money or prestige, and if golf becomes an Olympic sport I imagine the top players will treat it with similar disdain.
However, the worrying thing for squash is that golf's governing bodies have set their sights on Olympic membership. And that means an enormous budget will be available to promote their bid.
I am sure the big guns like Tiger Woods (when he has recovered from injury) will be brought in to back the bid, make key speeches and glad-hand the key IOC decision-makers, even if the top golfers give the event a giant body-swerve should the sport be accepted.
Just imagine how an IOC delegate would respond if he or she was invited to join Tiger for a few holes at a swanky golf club.
Pulling many of the strings behind the scenes, of course, are the American TV channels. They would happily fill their schedules with hours of golf and sell expensive, prime-time advertising slots to the big multi-nationals who can afford it.
That's why a powerful American lobby is battling to get baseball voted back into the Olympic programme.
And that's bad news for squash, because, although our sport ticks every box and absolutely deserves to join the world's ultimate sporting jamboree, we don't have the financial clout to match the bids from golf or baseball.
Olympic Answer: The reigning Olympic tennis champion is Chile's Nicolas Massu.
SHARK STILL BITES
Despite my lack of enthusiasm for golf, I must admit that Greg Norman's performance at Royal Birkdale was an inspiration to veteran sportsmen everywhere.
The 53-year-old Aussie, know nas the Great White Shark, performed heroically throughout the Open (we're so posh over here it doesn't need to be called the "British") and put it all down to the love of a good woman.
Norman, if you didn't already know, recently wed tennis legend Chrissy Evert. Shame they left it so late. Would have been interesting to see their sporting progeny.
SWEET TASTE OF VICTORY
As someone of a similar vintage to Greg Norman, I can vouch for the sweet taste of a victory against a much younger rival.
Last Monday, still shaking off the effects of a virus, I turned up at the club to play one of our first team players, who is more than 20 years younger than me. In all honesty, I was expecting a thumping, so it came as a blissful surprise to stagger off court 40 minutes later having won in straight games.
It was great to be able to put three decent games together. But the pain was unbelievable. In between games, desperate for oxygen and gasping for breath as I slumped on the steps outside the club, I must have cut a very sorry figure.
Two builders who were repairing the showers asked if I needed an ambulance!
Good job I still love the training.
NO PAIN, NO GAIN
Speaking of training, and tennis, I was impressed by Andy Murray's performance at Wimbledon and his growing maturity.
Out of the yards of newsprint that inevitably chronicled Britain's new big hope, the most interesting remarks came from one of his fitness coaches.
He was full of praise for the volume of work Murray carried out back in December at the winter training camp, and the fact that he did so without complaint.
Reminds me of another young Scot who moved down to London to further his squash career more than 15 years ago.
MORE CLUBS CLOSING ...
Latest tale of misery comes from the North West of England, where the Concorde Club, the only squash club in the seaside town of Morecambe, is soon to close after operating for 25 years. The owners say it is not paying its way.
Similar gloom in the west country, where the Blackbrook Pavilion courts in Taunton are to make way for a bigger gym.
In London, local authorities seem to be waging a war on squash. Eight courts are due to close in Harrow, and the Sobell Leisure Centre in Islington is due to be rebuilt but with no plans to include the six squash courts in the new design. Four more courts are also due to go at the nearby Finsbury Leisure Centre.
These decisions are from the same Islington Borough Council that allowed the shameful demolition of the world-famous Lambs Club last year.
More tales of gloom and doom from north of the border in Scotland, where squash players are up in arms about plans to get rid of squash at Edinburgh's Meadowbank Sports Centre, venue for the 2000 Women's World Open, won by Carol Owens. Meadowbank is due to be demolished with the loss of all six squash courts. A smaller centre is planned with no public squash courts featuring in the plans.
There is further controversy in the tiny Channel Island of Guernsey, a few miles from the French mainland, where the future of squash at the Kings Club is in jeopardy. The Guernsey SRA has moved out of Kings following a dispute over allegations of unpaid bills and has switched operations to the Beau Sejour Leisure Centre. Guernsey, amazingly, has produced a raft of professionals including world champion Martine Le Moignan, Lisa Opie, Jason Nicolle and brothers John and Richard Le Lievre.
Read Previous Issues of The First Word
A Love That Never Dies
Every Racket Tells a Story
Squash Phrases & Jargon
About the Author: Alan Thatcher is a journalist, event promoter and TV commentator. Alan recently joined Squash360.com as Contributing Editor. Come back each Monday as Alan offers his unique insight into the sport. In the weeks and months ahead Alan will interview key figures in the game and share plenty of stories from down the years.
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