The Guide to Squash Etiquette

The Guide to Squash Etiquette - Part Two

By Sean Sunderland
Originally Posted at Seattle Squash

51 More Things Not to do in The Game of Squash…

51) Brag
52) Curse loudly on court
53) Habitually foot-fault
54) Complain about tournament favors, shirts, food or prizes
55) Criticize a squash association without attempting to make a meaningful contribution to it
56) Fail to referee the tournament match which follows a match you won, unless you find an acceptable substitute referee or have been dismissed by the director
57) Decline to seek a replacement referee when you reasonably know that the match or players you are to referee are beyond your referee capabilities
58) Neglect to encourage a new player or a junior player
59) Stomp your feet when your opponent is preparing to play a shot in front of you
60) Wring the sweat out of your headbands or grips onto the floor
61) Transfer your sweat onto the ball to change its movement
62) Purport to arrive to your match on time, then excessively delay entering the court to prepare the racquet, adjust clothing/eyewear, or stretch
63) Play a hard match smelling strongly of smoke, alcohol, perfume or cologne
64) Use a cell phone between games or interrupt play to answer a cell phone
65) Decline challenging matches to avoid the risk of losing
66) Record/videotape a game without your opponent’s knowledge or consent
67) Treat club staff members disrespectfully
68) Leave lights on or turn lights off if either violates club practice
69) Await your opponent or a spectator to fetch a ball that you hit out of court
70) Fail to offer to replace or restring a racquet that you borrowed and damaged
71) Publicly criticize the technique of a player who consistently beats you
72) Eat or drink on the court
73) Double-book opponents for a match without obtaining approval from both
74) Hit the ball hard in the court after a point concludes
75) Fake a swing during a rally
76) Beg to play “just one more game” with a player who is obviously done
77) Insist on a disputed stroke or no-let without compromising with a let
78) Persist in a fruitless debate about a let ruling, long after the point, game or match
79) Fail to post ladder, league or tournament results in a timely fashion
80) Leave towels, old grips, food wrappers or other refuse outside the court
81) Decline to wear safety glasses, yet complain when an opponent cleans or adjusts hers
82) Argue playing without safety glasses in the presence of a minor
83) Doubt your opponent’s integrity by asking: “Did you get that?”
84) Shout “TURNING”
85) Swing at a ball after you turn in the back court
86) Promise “I’ll play better next time” every time you lose, then repeatedly fail to play better
87) Use your station as a squash official to displace spectators to improve your own viewing position at a match
88) Intentionally arrange match locations to impose guest fees on your opponent
89) Spit in or around the court or in or around drinking fountains
90) Face the rear to gesture to spectators during a match while your opponent is on court
91) Persistently ask how a player fared against another named player
92) Put your bags, racquets or towels on chairs or benches when seating is limited
93) Place your bags, racquets or dark towels outside the court near the bottom of a glass back wall where they can obscure players’ sight of the ball
94) Idly watch your guest clean your court’s floor or walls to make the court playable
95) Handle food or drink when watching from a viewing area directly above the court
96) Bounce the ball excessively as a serving ritual
97) Ask a professional to play without offering to pay
98) Perpetually whine about your lack of improvement, but fail to take lessons and train harder
99) Blame a loss on your age
100) Sign up for a tournament division below your skill level (aka “sandbag”)
101) Coach or parent a juvenile (aka “junior”) without correcting them when they behave as enumerated above